In Africa . . .

Posted on ManuelPosted in Blog

Hey, what do you know? I’m in Africa, the land where it all begun, and for free, too: I won my dream vacation and something I would never have thought to spend money on—on my own that is. In short, I got to fly to some place in Africa—who cares where, as long as they nurse lions, my luck holds, and I get to shoot one. It’s called a “canned hunt,” and safe, too; what will they think of next? I figure safe since they’ve been feeding the dark, ugly brutes for years, just for us, and they are probably not that hungry. Simple too: we take a big gun (my only expense) and camp like royalty for a few nights, while in the early mornings and late evenings we get to go out on large Land Rovers trampling through the tall grass—that’s parched anyway—and see if we can spot one, all the time sipping scotch on the rocks, the manly drink, for manly men on the hunt. Wow! They actually guarantee one, well, almost, but promise to let one loose in front of our vehicle if nothing else. Easy, huh? I say “Yes, bring it on!” If we’re too drunk to shoot straight, maybe we can run one over. In the end, we win and that’s what counts.

Nothing compares to sitting out with your new friends while the morning light starts the ball rolling over the savanna: crickets chirping, dragonflies a buzzing, zebras busy preening themselves, and the customary negroes cooking our breakfast as the wind gently blows a cool invigorating breeze over the soon to be parched landscape . . . besides the occasional distant BooM! Sweet.

We can mistreat the help too, if we got nothing else to do: they’re used to it and they tell me doing so is a tradition of sorts, besides good for keeping them in line. Necks bowed, “as who pursued with yell and blow still treads the shadow of his foe, and forward bends his head,” one step ahead of their tormentors: good stuff I tell you. Plus the bonus: if an elephant happens by, BooM! double BooM and it’s adios amen: we can get all we want, big or small, as there’s no limit on those. Sweet.

mt

12 thoughts on “In Africa . . .”

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